Should probably pay Royalties to Disney for this one...or Kanye. Or 'both'.

Weeks 5, 6 & 7...

It's been a while since I sat and wrote this thing...

I've gone a bit downhill in terms of steps in the last few weeks. Out of the 21 days since I wrote my last post I've only hit my 10k target 5 times. I've been pretty damn close on many of the days (8-9k) but had a couple of days where lazy cow Liv got the better of me and only managed to walk to the kettle and back to the sofa (1.5k - 4k). 

Still averaging 7.5k per day and have consistently been to the gym or done home workouts 5 days a week. So that's huge progress! And what's more...I am in love with exercising. I feel really weird on days where I don't do anything. 

When I say weird...I mean, down in the dumps. It really is amazing what exercise can do for the mind. Doctors really should prescribe it. 

On Sunday I had a really lazy day. I watched Disney films all day and mostly napped. Sadly, I wasn't even hungover - I've been in bed before midnight, sober, every day for as long as I can remember now. I just felt like my 'get up and go had got up and gone'. It got to about 8pm and I started creeping onto that slippery slope of depression... 

I felt guilty and ashamed that I had wasted the day. So instead of letting misery continue to take hold - I had a word with myself and decided to go out for a walk.

It was actually so beautiful. It pissed it down with rain 20 minutes into it, but even the rain was nice. I love the smell of rain. Being out in the fresh air on a Sunday evening reminded me of being a kid - that time where you're playing out with your friends in the last bit of the daylight. Then getting in as it gets dark, ready for a bath, snuggle on the sofa and an early night before school on Monday.

If I closed my eyes I could easily imagine opening them to a snuggle under my Mum's 'Sure deodorant' armpit, homemade crocheted cushion covers on the sofa, Vicar of Dibley on the tele, tumble drier on. 'Home'. Proper home. 

Anyway...that's enough of that nostalgic nonsense.

Back to how it's going so far...

7 weeks now of working hard(ish) on changing my lifestyle and reaching my goals. 

There is no doubt that it is having such a huge impact on how I feel. I've managed to work out an exercise routine that works for me - pun intended. Every evening instead of sitting binge watching Netflix and inhaling snacks... I'm doing YouTube workouts at 9/10pm at night. I bet the neighbour in the flat below loves me.

'The elephant upstairs is marching again...'

....In the military style!

Hup, two, three, four!

Keep it up, two, three, four!

(Yes, that is another Disney reference. Sunday has clearly had a bigger affect on my than I originally thought. Seriously though, this scene fits perfectly for how I imagine my neighbour's response: )

In all the years of yo-yo dieting I've always focused on what the scales tell me. Surprisingly, up until this week...the scales had not budged, not one bit. Surprisingly, it hasn't phased me - 'not one bit'.

On 7th August... after 4 weeks of weights sessions, twice a week, with my personal trainer... we redid my measurements.

CHEST: 1.5 inches lost (*eyeroll* - of course these mammoth boobs haven't shifted off yet. Damn things. Don't worry, we'll save our pennies for the scalpel if they don't shrink soon)

WAIST:  9 inches lost!! (still don't believe that - I think the tape measure was faulty. He rechecked a few times, though and apparently it's right)

HIP: 8.5 inches lost.

ARM: 2.5 inches lost.

THIGH: 3 inches lost.

So I'm 24.5 inches small all-around. And stronger, too.

I can deadlift 20kg more than I could on 12th July. I can squat 15kg more and benching...well, benching is the same. But still, definitely getting stronger.

I can row a few seconds faster, and I can cycle MUCH faster... 29 seconds faster. So getting fitter, too.

Smaller, fitter, faster, stronger. ("Alright Kanye").

I can add 'braver' to that list, too. 

 

(Haha, another Disney reference shoehorned in there -  tenuous, I'll admit - but still...)

I've plucked up the courage to do things this week that I've spent months only imagining doing.

1) I walked to the gym. Which is about a 40 minute walk. Along the main road. Walking longer distances than to the fridge or the car makes me very self conscious. And weirdly conscious of my arms. What are you meant to do with your arms when you walk? Should they swing or stay still? 

2) I did 2 HIIT workouts with Joe Wicks. And swore. A lot. I'm not an aggressive person but I don't think I've ever been so vile to anyone in my life as I was to Joe. Poor guy is putting out free content to help the nation's obesity crisis and here I am ready to drop the nut on him. (Sorry, Joe)🤣

3) I went to Zumba... I've done Zumba before. But this one was with the most enthusiastic, energetic, fast-paced instructor I've ever had the (dis)pleasure of trying to follow. I spent half the time thinking I was going to die, a quarter of the time laughing at myself about how hilariously difficult it was to keep up, and the other quarter of the time wishing I was on whatever she was on. I've come to realise in these past few weeks that endorphins are really powerful chemicals - but that energy was something else! 🙈 (No, I joke - I can't wait for the day when I have that much agility and rhythm).

4) I bought some home-gym equipment to vamp up my home workouts. I'm finding that the step-workouts with Rick aren't getting my heart pumping quite like they used to. So I'll be adding in some weights/resistance to make it a bit harder. I'm also getting braver and wanting to branch out into more challenging workouts like HIIT & may even give Pilates/Yoga a try in the next few weeks.

5) I did a video of myself. In my underwear. (wink, wink). Not to sell on the side as passive income to any sugar daddies out there - but so that when I reach my goals I can look at them side by side and see how far I've come. No. I won't be adding it to the blog. Ever. Sorry to disappoint.

I really wish I was 'Brave' enough to do it at the start. I'd love to see a visual of my progress so far.

I've also realised over the last few weeks that my weight isn't shifting because I haven't given much thought to my diet. Although I'm getting fitter, faster, stronger, Kanye... the reality is that you can't out-train a rubbish diet.

So last Monday I re-joined Slimming World. I know there can be a lot of hate around the Slimming World/Weight Watchers plans for contributing to eating disorders and having some questionable advice around 'good' vs 'bad' foods - chocolate bar vs avocado having the same syns, for example. However, I'm doing it alongside my best friend and am happy that we're in it together. I've always had an unhealthy relationship with food...that hasn't changed whether I'm on or off a particular eating plan. But equally, I've always had a very long distance, avoidant, unhealthy relationship with exercise... which is changing for the better nowadays.

I don't think there's an issue with any particular lifestyle/diet plan. The issue is maintaining motivation, habits, routine. Any plan can be successful if you stick at it and make consistent, long-term changes...and in my experience, any healthy diet when you're a greedy pig is restrictive. Calorie counting is restrictive when all you want to do is smash a roast dinner, family sized bar of dairy milk, 12-box of Biscoff Krispy Kremes and sit on your butt watching Disney films every day. It's when you give up altogether, let unhealthy habits creep back in and don't do anything about it - that's what the issue is. I understand the principles of calorie deficit. Which is why, alongside Slimming World, I'm weighing my foods and tracking calories through my Fitbit. If I have enough left in the bank for an avocado, or an ice cream - I won't deprive myself.

There's been a huge shift in how I view progress, too. The scale weight isn't the be-all and end-all to me anymore. I don't want to lose x amount of weight in x amount of time, either. In fact, I'm not fussed about the weight at all - it's the fat I want to get rid of. Well, both - actually. I want to be in the best place I can be by August next year, but I am also fully aware that this is going to take a long, long time to achieve. It's going to take the rest of my life to keep it going. I'm aiming for 1-2lbs each week and if the scales don't budge, or even if they go up... I know that the most important thing is to just keep swimming.

For the first time in a long time, I also really appreciate the value of making exercise a routine activity. Which I know is going to be key for me to be happier and healthier in the short and long-run.

Something I've learned in the last few years is that many things in life are not an 'either/or' - but often a combination of 'both'.

Behaviour/traits - nature vs nurture - 'both'.

Emotions - happiness vs sadness - 'both' (please watch Inside Out)

Physical health - exercise vs diet - 'both'.

So for the next few weeks, I'll be concentrating on doing both. 

If you don't mind foul language... there's some videos documenting my 'love'/'hate' (both) of exercise the last few weeks below. These weren't intended for the blog. These are some lovely snippets of the sort of crap my friend has to endure on a daily basis.

I don't know what it is about exercise that makes me swear so much - I told a pully at the gym the other day to 'F-off' 😂😂😂🙊🙊🙊. Stu thought I was talking to him but I quickly - but not very successfully - made a smooth recovery by saying, "no, not you - the pulley". No smooth recovery, just a side-step from 'hostile' to 'insane'. I'm going to coin the term, 'endorphin-induced rage'.